Younger Years
Living in a Brooklyn tenement building as a child didn’t provide me with much opportunity to enjoy the outside world. The neighborhood around us was not conducive to allowing a child to wander about, so my first years were primarily indoors. It wasn’t until I was about 4 or 5 that I realized there was a beautiful world out there. My parents decided to take up car camping in an effort to take inexpensive family trips to the country.
And so I was first introduced to sleeping on the ground (initially we slept on top of newspaper and threw a blanket or two on top of us). It was great being under canvass with the entire family, and starting to appreciate nature. We visited Woodland Valley NYS campground numerous times over the years. I fell in love with the campground and with the outdoors. Little did I know that years later I would be the caretaker for and live at that campground with my sons.
In an effort to “make a lady” out of me my dad sent me to an all girl’s Catholic school. It was not a happy place and it was not a happy time for me. As a result of the strictness of the environment I considered myself a rebel at 13. By daytime I wore a uniform, little did they know I had cut off jeans and a halter top underneath. When I left the building I would shed the outer layer and I was typically on my way to Greenwich Village NYC. I was a wanna be hippie.
I was easily convinced to try things that would not typically be done by “a lady”. I felt like I was leading someone else’s life and not my own. I had a low self image and I let others rule my life. I never made it on the Cheerleader team yet they allowed me to join the basketball team. After spending many games just sitting on the bench I handed in my uniform. I was searching for something, but I had no idea what it was.
I had visions of going far away to collage just to get away from everything I was used to. My dad forbid me. Once again I followed his rules. I didn’t even know if I wanted to “do college” but felt the pressure to do so. And so, my first degree was an AAS from The Fashion Institute of Technology. I studied buying and merchandising. Unfortunately I soon believed I wasn’t cut out for that type of work. (It wasn’t until some years later that I would attain a BS in Recreation.)
I worked hard putting money away for the purchase of a car. That’s what all my friends were doing, so that’s what I did. At 18 I had a whopping $500 in the bank. I started to look for a used car, but then wondered if that was what I really wanted. A friend let me try out her ten speed bike and I loved it. I felt my first sense of freedom as I flew down a hill. I questioned the need for a car.
I decided that I wanted to “see the world” a bit, instead of buying a car. And so, I made arrangements to work at a resort in Switzerland. It was the “heavy handed” dad that made a suggestion that would change the course of my life.
How my dad changed my life
“Why” he said “would you want to pay money to fly to a place to work.” He continued on “why don’t you just take a bicycle and bicycle around the countryside.” That was a very surprising suggestion coming from such a strict and (as I thought at the time) narrow minded person. And so, the plans changed full circle.
$500 could get you a lot in the 70’s. I was able to pay for a round trip flight, purchase a bike from the Battersea Bike shop in London and travel around for two months. And that’s when the passion was born.
It was, sorry to say, the first time in my life that I felt good at something and overjoyed enough to want to do it again. Despite the fact that there were (of course) no computers and no books on cycle touring, I just plain learned the hard way. Although I started with a back pack filled with mostly unnecessary items, I soon learned about the use of bicycle panniers (saddlebags). I soon learned about Youth Hostels, not knowing what an important part that organization would play in my life. The biggest challenge of the trip was working out day to day plans with the person I was travelling with. I was not much into compromise at the time. I was not very tolerant for whining and complaining.
For the next several years summers were spend on the seat of an Ideal leather saddle with all my worldly belongings. I was happily living out of the saddlebags, sleeping inside a Camp Trails Chinquapin tent and cooking my meals on a small camp stove. As a splurge I would overnight at a local Youth Hostel.
It was through the trip planning that I discovered a wonderful organization that I would spend the next decade or so working for. It was also during that time that I would make friendships that would last a lifetime. I will never forgot my first visit to the American Youth Hostels Store in NYC. It was a business environment unlike anything I had seen back in the day. From the moment I entered its walls of 132 Spring Street I knew that is where I wanted to work.
My next goal was to get a job there. And so, for a month or so I inquired once a week about a job possibility. Each time I was turned down and told there were no openings. At some point they must have realize that I wasn’t giving up and I could continue to be inquiring until something materialized. “We have one job” Elliot stated “but it’s not something suitable for a woman and I am sure you would not want it.” “What is it” I questioned him. “Working in the basement, giving out equipment to the bicycle tour leaders, cleaning the equipment…” he said. “And by the way, there are some rats down here.”
And so I started my career at American Youth Hostels. I loved the job. I was meeting people with the same goals and interest as myself. I didn’t mind being in the basement and loved the fact that I was helping tour leaders prepare for their bike trip. It was also fun receiving the returned gear. I could easily tell where they had been…there were often a few European coins left in the pocket of the tent, or the stub of a train ticket or the receipt from an overseas supermarket. I was also living their adventures as well as planning for my next one.
They tricked me into it
Elliot came to see me. He hadn’t been back in the basement since the day he hired me. “I have a question for you” he stated. OK, so what’s coming, I wondered. “Do you think you could act as a substitute tour leader just for a few days until we find a leader?” he stated. I didn’t even hesitate for a moment. I loved the place and would have done just about anything for them. “Sure”, I said, “what do you want me to do?
He proceeded to tell me that the leader of the Coast to Coast (74 day bike trip across the USA) had just backed out due to illness. They wanted me to hop in and do it just for a few days (or so that it what he said). “And by the way” he continued, “the parents and teens are here right now and can you run the pre trip informational meeting?”. Minutes later I was explaining the plan and the expectations to a group of two dozen that already knew more about the trip than I.
A few days later we were at the AYH headquarters on Spring Street NYC. I was about 6 in the morning and family and friends were waiting to see their kid off for the summer. I was to be responsible for 8 teens (16-18) and I was still just a child at 22. We were loaded down with our personal items for the summer as well as the group gear of tent, cooking gear, etc. We were self supported. There was no Sag van behind us, there was no plan. The only plan was that the group was to make it to the west coast and fly back on a specific date 74 days later.
No worries, I thought. I’m just doing this for a few days. I was truly unprepared for what was to follow. I would find a pay phone each night, report all the difficulties of the day, and beg them to tell me when the replacement was coming. It never came. 74 days later we were flying home from San Francisco. It wasn’t the bicycle riding that caused so much difficulty. It was the day to day interactions, and conflicts and chores that needed to be done. I had little inner resources at the time, but we luckily made it safely across this great big country.
New Career
Even though the organization tricked me into leading the Coast to Coast bike trip I was thrilled to be working for them. Employment there allowed me to use some of the buying and merchandising skills I learned in college yet it was in an easy going environment. I was buying and selling products I believed in and with a no pressure attitude towards our customers. I was given the opportunity to run an outdoor mail order business as well as be the buyer for bicycle, camping, hiking and travelling items. Summers I led bicycle trips throughout the USA, Europe and a few trips in China. I also worked in their leadership department. I was responsible to hire, train and assist leaders during their worldwide journeys.
I started to really appreciate the value of everyone spending time outdoors. I saw changes that teens underwent just after a few weeks on a bicycle journey. Soon I was recruited by the Girls Club on NY to set up and to run outdoor programs for inner city youths and “youth at risk”. That employment also led me to my work with Outward Bound “youth at risk” programs in the southern part of the country. I was given the opportunity to lead at risk youths from Georgia to the Gulf of Mexico on month long canoe trips.
I felt good about giving back. I saw how the outdoors changed my perspective on things, how it gave me greater self confidence and a new feeling of what is really important in life. I felt it important to share that with other kids growing up in the city.
Hey I Can Do That
It was through my employment with American Youth Hostels that I met friends that had a huge impact on my life. I was no longer this wimpy teen following the coolest looking person. I became my own human being and attained a level of confidence that has helped me in everything I do. When Andy told me I could ride a bicycle 200 miles within a 24 hour period I believed I could. When he told me I could climb mountains in the dead of winter I also believed him. It became limitless as far as what I felt I could do. I found myself cycling throughout the USA, trips throughout Europe, parts of China and Japan. I also enjoyed trekking trips to places like Annapurna and Everest base camps. My employment at AYH helped prepare me for the rest of my life.
I Knew It Was Time to Go
As much as I loved my NYC connections it became increasingly difficult to live the urban life. I knew I felt differently out of the city than in the city. I knew I had to go to be true to myself. Luckily I was offered a job setting up and running a Youth Hostel in New York’s Catskill Mountains. With a free place to live and a high salary of $100 a week I was off to a fresh start and a new life.
Within a short time I found myself settled into country living, married and blessed with two wonderful sons. That changes everything. It was no longer about the next bike ride or the next adventure; it was about a totally new adventure. It was about the most important adventure of my life. It was about raising kids.
And Then They Are Gone
Your children are the focus of everything. You work to feed and clothe them and hopefully get to do some fun stuff along the way. There was never an abundance of money. Jobs were chosen, not based on what the take home pay would be, but rather on what worked well for the kids. After a divorce it became even more important to have employment conducive to their hours and what works for them as well.
When my son said “hey mom, I’m going to college so I can get a real job and make a lot of money and not have to clean bathrooms at a campground” my feelings were not hurt. I knew I chose to run a state campground (Woodland Valley) since they could live at the campground and I would be around them all summer. I didn’t have to clean the bathrooms (being the supervisor) but I always felt that I couldn’t send my staff to do a job that I would not do.
I never wanted my kids to be locked up in an apartment and felt blessed that they could wander in the woods and stream from a young age. Winters I worked at a ski center, so guess what they did on their days off….Ski and Snowboard.
Everything revolved around these great guys. You make a lot of decisions as a parent. Some of the decisions were very difficult. I did the best job I could. If I could have a do-over there would have been few things I would have changed. But alas, one day they grow up and they are out of the house….they are gone from your side. What a difficult day that was for me.
Empty Nest Syndrome
Initially I didn’t know there was a name for it but I had it bad. That feeling of grief and loneliness hit me hard once both sons moved out on their own. It had always been my hope that my sons would follow their own path and be on their own. There is definitely a difference between wanting something for your kids and then also experiencing the result of those dreams.
At that point I didn’t feel a purpose or a direction in my life. When I wasn’t working I would sit around thinking of how much I missed them and all the things I should have done differently as a parent. I guess there is a point in one’s life that the roles are reversed. After years of worrying about and watching out for the kids there is a bit of a shift. My older son noticed the slump and said “mom, what was it you liked to do before kids?” I responded with “well I loved to bicycle tour”. “Well” he said “than that’s what you need to be doing.”
He was right; easier said than done. In the seventies I would think nothing of booking a flight, hopping on a plane and solo tour in a far away land. At that time there wasn’t much thought put to where I would stay each night, would they understand my needs, would I get lost, would I be able to make it to a hostel or campground. I had little fear, very little money but quite a lot of confidence.
HERE WE GO
In my opinion, the older I get the harder it is to take that first step towards doing something. It’s not just the physical act of being healthy enough to hop on the bike. It’s also the mental state of “hey, I can do this.” That is where my doubt was to lie.
And so, I pushed myself up off the coach, I kicked myself out the door and I loaded up my bike. My mind was filled with all kinds of what ifs and what if I can’t. But then, I thought to myself, what if I can? I did a few short overnight bike tours. I realized that I still really liked the act of sitting on the bike, riding to another location, setting up tent, cooking and eating outdoors. I had to fight the inner voice telling me I’m “too old” or “too slow” or “what if you get a breakdown or can’t make it to the destination.”
That inner voice tried very hard to squash any subsequent dreams I may have. I knew 60 was approaching. I felt I had to do something different, something bold. I had to make a statement to myself that I was still “young at heart” and I could do the same things I did in the 70’s but at a much smaller scale. In the meantime I took a Mandarin class at a local collage as that has always been on my list of things to do.
I committed to myself to do a bicycle tour somewhere that I would be able to use the few Mandarin phrases I learnt. After a small amount of research Taiwan came to mind as a safe and possible option. Days were spent researching the airfares and waiting till the right moment to lock in the flight. I shared my travel plan with friends and coworkers knowing that I would then feel compelled to follow through. It wasn’t until the flights were booked that I knew it would definitely happen.